I’ll be there in 5 minutes with ice cream, but I’m afraid I will not be massaging your bottom, you need to go get Tony for that, mkay.

okay that sounds like a deal UuU

my butt hurts

and i want some ice cream

and i’m incredibly bored oh my god

sluttyoliveoil:

turn ons: garlic bread

(via feministbabequeen)

omg there’s an ad on this website that said “find your dream boat today” and i thought it was an advertisement for a dating site for hunks and babes but it was just trying to get me to buy a boat. 

(Source: iraffiruse, via devils-trap)

drinksfordrinkers:

Orange Creamsicle Jello Shots

3 large oranges

1 small package orange jello

3/4 cup boiling water

1/4 cup juice from the oranges

3/4 cup oranges whipped creme vodka

Slice the oranges in half. Juice the oranges and reserve the juice. Using a spoon, scoop out all the remaining flesh and pith. In a bowl, mix jello and boiling water until powder is dissolved. Add orange juice and vodka and mix thoroughly. Put the orange halves in muffin tins. Pour the liquid in the halves. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight, or about 4 hours. When jello is very firm, slice each half into 4 sections. Makes about 24 shots.

shit, this makes me laugh the hardest.

he jerks off while mourning his family and wow Derek u ok??

I could do a whole bunch in an AU, too.

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oh yeah y’all is something you can never get rid of after being southern :D

my friends in NY used to make fun of me for saying it.

i’d be like Y’ALL WANNA GO OUT and they’d be like hahahaha you said y’all that’s so dumb you’re so southern and i was like hMPH.

Sorry

shhh it’s okay i love michael/sam cuteness. *U*